Tag Archive | fun

It’s been a long time…

2017 was not my best year – and I know others who struggled through it as well. So far, 2018 is much better.

As some of you may know, I am also the primary caregiver for my elderly mother. Mom just turned 83 and is in an assisted living facility nearby. She has her two elderly cats – the vet pointed out that the cats get older with every visit, so while they are old, no one knows exactly what their ages truly are.

Even though she is in a facility, she still has needs. They try to feed her, although they don’t try very hard. She is celiac, so she can’t have any gluten (wheat, rye, barley, malt). And my mother is not very assertive with the staff. She complained that she was getting very small portions and I told her that they are assuming she is a typical old lady who “eats like a bird,” so if she wants more, she will have to ask. Finally this week she had something she liked, so she asked for more and was surprised when they brought it.

Meanwhile, we shop for groceries to keep her microwave and fridge stocked with the things she likes and can eat. We also keep her supplied with cat food and treats and kitty litter. Stop by to maintain the litterboxes. And bust her out on weekends.

Last weekend, I made arrangements with my best friend, Kerri, to drag Mom to the lake. Mom is in a wheelchair, so it gets interesting. (“Interesting” is Minnesota code for “I don’t like it.”) Bless Kerri – she enlisted two younger, strong healthy friends who were willing to try to get Mom out on their pontoon boat. Figured out we could wheel her down to the public dock, and then my hubby and Kerri’s friend lifted the wheelchair over the tie-out bars and onto the deck. Once we got Mom situated, Kerri handed my hubby the sunscreen, which he promptly sprayed directly into Mom’s face and all over her glasses. Kerri stopped him, smoothed the spray over Mom’s face with her hands and cleaned up Mom’s glasses.

The highlight of the trip happened while we were tied with another pontoon at the party cove.  Kerri’s friend, Julie, saw the driver of the other boat, Mike, near the exit gate, so she ran across the deck and grabbed Mike and pulled him off the boat and into the water. The lake was somewhere between 20-30 feet deep where we were moored. And then we found out that Mike could not swim. Mike’s wife, Wendy, went ashen. Julie got behind Mike in the water and pushed him and held him up against the boat. Two other men pulled him back on deck. Julie was mortified. As she said, no one would guess that someone who spends the majority of life on the lake would not know how to swim. All’s well that ends well. His phone and wallet were in his pocket and had to be dried, and Mike is fine.

We went back to Kerri’s glamper for dinner and then took Mom home. When we asked her how her day was she replied, “It’s better than the dining hall.”

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Short Story – Ssssilliness

Story prompt:
The story’s protagonist is female and a shopkeeper. A piece of fruit plays a significant part in the story. The story is set in a school in the far future. The story is about freedom.

*******

It always rains on Mondays. It doesn’t matter what planet you’re on.  Saness watched the drops sliding down the window, taking her mood with them.  Blork! How could anything get worse? Her parents were in Argonnia on vacation and out of reach of cyberspace, so she had to watch the shop. Her sister was on work assignment in the Saurean planetoids. Her most recent boyfriend had jilted her for a Seruvian sylph. And even Silna, her pet strottar was sick with a septic infection. No one to embrace. No one to speak to. No one to share with. No one to keep her mood from sliding into saturninity. And she had school today.

The Second Synchronized Superlative Sensational Silent Sky- Spy Super-Secret Sanskrit Skill School in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. Most of her classmates called it Snake U (a play on the SSSSSSSSS acronym).  She said “Ssssssss” until she realized people thought she was hissing. At them. She attended via the satellite telelearning system, which synchronized the entire class in space-time. Participation was mandatory. Assignments compulsory. And since they had a thousand ways to find you and force you to submit, parents supposed it was worth the price.

Her parents had enrolled her here as a last resort. Saness had managed to fail out of every course of study she started.

She had alienated herself from the Autonomous Amiable Androgynous Analytic Alibi Academy

She was booted from the Bereaved Barbarian Bedazzled Bohemian Bakery and Bourgeois Ballet Bastion

Caught canoodling in the Coeducational Collaborative Cantankerous Culinary College

Delivered from the Dogmatic Deliberate Diligent Dilettante Doomsday Decoy Dojo by a dalliance with a deacon.

She had even been expelled from the Excellent Egalitarian Energetic Eclectic Enthusiastic Ecole for Everyone.

Her parents, tired of working through the alphabetical listing in order decided to skip a few letters to reduce the number of options.  So here she was.  Stuck in her teledesk.

“Saness, please explain the concept of surreptitious surveillance.”

Her reverie stymied, Saness brought her scrutiny back to the 4D classroom and the instructor’s solicitation.

“Skillful application of presence auditing,” she said straightforwardly.

Satisfied, the instructor sailed on to the next item on the syllabus and Saness returned to her stargazing. It wasn’t that she was a bad student. She was good at memorization and always seemed to know what the teachers were expecting. She grasped the concepts easily enough and she had acquired any new skills they taught. Yet, she never managed to finish certification anywhere. She was closer this time than she had ever been. All she had to do was survive a little longer.

She took a bite of a strawberry from the fruit bowl in front of her. She had snatched it from the counter in the shop right before class. The strawberry was sweet and succulent. She savored the scent that assailed her nose, the beautiful scarlet flesh. Lost in her senses, she floated out of her body. The teledesk held her physical presence with her head facing the classroom and she went out through the virtual raindrops into the ether.

In a snap she was in the veterinary hospital sliding into the cage with her beloved Silna. When Saness arrived, Silna’s ether was floating above her snoring body, curled in the same position. Saness wrapped her filmy arms around Silna’s scintillating fur and Silna reciprocated with the purring enthusiasm only a six-tailed strottar can give.  Saness snuggled her silky companion and was feeling significantly strengthened. If only she could stay in this state, she would be so safe and satisfied.

Crack! blzzzt! Saness felt the suction and struggled. She was swirling, spinning. Splat! Sabotaged, she was shoved back into her body, only it was no longer in the 4D classroom. She was in the superintendent”s office and her parents were there. Oh slurge! This was not going to be copacetic.

She’d been sacked. Again.

“Saness, how could you?” said her father, not really expecting an answer.

“We were hoping you could stick this one out. You were so close.” Saness wished she could soothe away the sadness in her mother’s eyes.

“Under the circumstances…” the superintendent looked at her parents with sympathy and then at Saness.

“I see.” Saness slunk down.

“Let’s go back to the shop,” said her father wrapping his sheltering arm around her shoulder. Saness searched his smiling face.

“There’s always the Universal Ubiquitous Understated Ubuntu University on Uranus.”

*******

With thanks for the story prompt to The Speculative Fiction Muse http://www.katfeete.net/writing/specfic.php

And to my writing partners, Mary C Sutton and D Anthony Brown danthonybrown.me for the support and the laughs. We were extra silly in this session.

What do you think? Did I honor the spirit or the letter of the writing prompt? Enter your thoughts in comments below.